{"id":145,"date":"2005-07-30T15:37:54","date_gmt":"2005-07-30T15:37:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.luanmorina.com\/blog\/?p=145"},"modified":"2020-07-31T16:01:10","modified_gmt":"2020-07-31T16:01:10","slug":"rodney-dangerfield-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.luanmorina.com\/blog\/humor\/rodney-dangerfield-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Rodney Dangerfield Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n
We were poor. We were so poor in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is: “Quick! Out the window!”<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The shape I’m in, I could donate my body to science fiction.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught me how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
With my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don’t need one.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I asked my old man if I could go ice skating on the lake. He told me, \u201cWait ’til it gets warmer.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I was so poor growing up – if I wasn’t a boy – I’d have had nothing to play with.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, \u201cHey buddy\u2026why are you doing that for?\u201d He said, \u201cBecause you came home early.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We were poor. We were so poor in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white. I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is: “Quick! Out the window!” The shape I’m Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":147,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nRodney Dangerfield Jokes - Blog Luan Morina<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.luanmorina.com\/blog\/humor\/rodney-dangerfield-jokes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rodney Dangerfield Jokes - Blog Luan Morina\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We were poor. 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