Haven’t we seen each other somewhere before?
I don’t think so. I don’t think I am seeing you now. It must be something I ate.
This lady is my wife. You should be ashamed.
If this lady is your wife, you should be ashamed.
Hey what are doing with that cigar in your mouth?
Why? Do you know another way you can smoke it?
A four year old child could understand this.
Run out and get me a four year old child. I can’t make head or tail out of it.
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
You’re one the best women I have ever seen. And that is not saying so much for you.
I don’t want to be part of a club that would have me as a member.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room and I think it’s you.
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn’t sell much – just an occasional sun visor.
I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
Man does not control his own fate; the women in his life do that for him.
You know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
I drink to make other people interesting.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.
You’re just wasting your breath, and that’s no great loss either.
I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!